Episode 5- How to get proof of life
Feb 16, 2020
Talk about it before you drop them off
- Start having those conversations about what life may look like while they are away.
- They will be in charge of their own schedules and curfew.
- Be honest with why you need/want communication
- It’s a transition for you too
- You worry about their safety
- What is a frequency of calls for you both that would be comfortable?
- Your schedule
- Their schedule
- Make a video call
- See if room is a mess
- do they look sick, depressed
- are they taking care of themselves
- gauge depression/anxiety or other potential health concerns that isolation may be a symptom
- If you are best friend and it continues then they aren’t making friends there.
- Set agreed upon time-span without hearing from student before you will contact roommate, RA or dean of students.
- This way you are both on the same page with the elevation of concern
- Helps to keep student accountable
- Practice this now
- Pay attention to your words when discussing this
- Remove you should/must/need to and replace it with have you thought about.
- Ask how they are feeling….about classes, scheduling their time, making friends or connections, engagement.
- Once they are there, here are reasons they will call
- They are sick
- An accident happened
- Need money
- Need tickets or a car/ride
- They have a problem like locked out of room
- ….ask “What are you going to do about it?”
- Resist the urge to provide an answer.
- Wait for them to ask….and only prompt them to think it thru, have them come up with their own ideas first.
- Give yourself grace when you don’t wait and congratulate yourself when you do!
This transition is for you as much as them….it takes time.