Episode 31- They are okay, are you?
Sep 06, 2020
It’s Labor Day weekend. The first window to get to check in, lay eyes on them, hug them.
Except not this year cause #COVID.
You get the call or text that they are miserable. Alone. Don’t know how to connect.
You just want to go get them, hug them, call the RA or roommate to help.
- All change is uncomfortable at best.
- Remember grade school to jr high, jr high to high school.
- It is a pandemic so underlying stressors make it feel bigger.
- They made friends before, they will again.
- It will be different...but that is why they chose college. To stretch themselves.
- The pandemic won’t last forever.
- There are connections to be made. The ball is in their court though.
- What can you do.
- Instead of telling them what to do to fix it, ask them questions.
- What are you doing to meet/connect with others?
- Why or why not?
- How are you feeling about your choices?
- What else can you do?
- Be an ear. Sometimes they don’t want you to fix things. They just need a sympathetic ear to talk things through.
- Phyllis Goldberg, a psychologist, suggests to parents that they listen to what your kids have to say about how they’re feeling before jumping in with solutions. Be available and supportive, letting them know it’s normal and helping them feel confident that they can work it through. Offer suggestions, one at a time, starting with what might be the easiest – text your best friend who understands.
- Sometimes they need to be reminded that they can do hard/new things.
- Remind them of their track record….what are those hard things they’ve already done.
- Talk through a worst case scenario with them...what they’d do for each ‘worst case’ to help them realize they can handle it.
- Pat yourself on the back cause this is hard for you to!