I know and you know you have no reason to feel guilty. About the year they’ve had, about the pandemic, about their feelings of isolation, about their grades, and the list can go on.

BUT I also know the feeling as a mom of wanting so desperately to save my kids any heartache or hardship. It hurts my heart to see them struggle. But that is the thing….they need to struggle to learn and become resourceful, resilient, strong, and successful.  That is the juxtaposition. 

Here are three tactics I’ve used to put that mom guilt back in the box when she surfaces.

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This article goes into some of the adult child types that may trigger manipulation.

https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/failure-to-launch-part-2-how-adult-children-work-the-parent-system/ 

• Meet Slug: The Adult Child Who Pushes Our Hope Button
• Meet Clueless: The...

When your student doesn’t know what major they want, I’ll share some ways you can coach them about which program to start in….how to explore.

It’s never a good result when a student enrolls in a major of their parents choice. College is hard enough when you are motivated to succeed in a discipline of your choosing. It gets worse when you add the pressure and frustration that this is your parents choice.

www.lesabeals.com

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Have them look inside/reflect. Even if your student cannot articulate their degree choice, have them really spend time thinking about how they’d like to spend their time over the next 30-40 years. 

• What hobbies do they enjoy?
• What kinds of things are they good at naturally?
• What things do others come to them asking for help with?

If they have a few ideas but aren’t confident, you may suggest ...

This is never a fun topic but it does happen. I’m going to walk you through the three things your student needs to do next.

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• Evaluate how they got here.
• Wrong major
• Was this parent’s major choice or students
• Push goal major
• safe/boring major
• Poor housing choice
• Apartment
• Roommate issues
• At home
• Time management
• Procrastination
• Too much free time
• Too many obligations
• Job
• clubs
• No idea how to do this
• Emotional health issues
• New
• Existing
• Existing but previously under control
• Physical health issues
• New
• Existing
• Existing but previously under control
• Use of university resources
• No, why
• Yes, why not successful
• Determine next steps
• Go back
• Transfer
• Time away
• Take action
1. Go back
• Reapply
• Consider if appeal is appropriate
• Take 12 credits at a jr or community college
• Watch for decision email
2. Transfer
• If they decided that...

I hear it...I don’t know what happened. I registered for the course and it just disappeared. Here are the top 5 reasons why they may happen.

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1. Past due bill
• Paid is full is usually what it takes to keep classes. Do you know the due date?
• If not paid in full was a payment plan arranged with bursar. Get a name of who you talked to. They may be able to get courses reinstated if someone forgot to make a notation.
• Some have a $5 threshold for dropping for payment while others have a larger balance past due. Ask.
2. Academically dropped
3. Course was canceled
• Departments watch enrollment. If a class doesn’t reach a certain number of enrolled students then it doesn’t financially make sense to teach it.
• Did a faculty member leave with no replacement
• Death
• Illness
• Move
• Budget cuts. Universities are hurting with all the covid PPE, refunds,...

As we begin to reflect on the past year and consider what 2021 may bring us I always appreciate others sharing their top podcasts for the year. Here are mine and why.

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1. The Life Coach School
• All of them!
2. Lead to Win with Michael Hyatt
• Episode 142, 143 and 144 about Habits 
• Episode BONUS from May 14. Teaching your kids goal-setting and productivity skills
3. Lead Your Team with Kris Plachy
• Ep 8- Create a job description
• Ep 28- How to Deal with Arguing and Gossipy Team members
4. The Learning Scientists Podcast
• Episode 50- Metacognitive Monitoring of Adolescents and young adults
• Episode 40- Memorizing Facts vs Using Information
5. John Maxwell Company Executive Leadership
• Ep 111- how do you lead up without sucking up?
• Ep 109- Are you Influencing or just being bossy?
6. The Chalene Show
• So many
7. The History Chicks
• All the Tudor episodes
• Nov 2018...

Sneak peak into Module ONE

Let’s assess what got your student here. This is the shortest of the three modules but can be the hardest. Realizing that your student’s semester doesn’t reflect their true ability may be easy, but the hard work comes in when you and your student need to be objective in assessing how they got there.

• Does this semester (or prior terms)final grading not reflect your student’s true academic ability?
  • Be honest in assessing. COVID/Remote learning aside….does their academic assessment on their transcript not accurately reflect who they really are/what they are capable of?
• Is the poor semester still lingering or are we working on last semester or further in the rear view mirror?
  • This will affect who your student reaches out to.
• Was this bad semester the result of a university error, medical emergency or death in the family? Those are standard key terms for a sort of ‘get out of jail free card’.
  • Can one of those...

As we begin to reflect on the past year and consider what 2021 may bring us I always appreciate others sharing their top reads for the year. Here are mine and why.

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1. The Bible
• It has always been a goal of mine to read the entire Bible in a year. I can finally say I did it. I just committed to reading for 15 minutes every day. Did I miss some days? Yep, but I kept going. Going to do it again next year!
• Joshua 1:9 Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
• Deuteronomy 4:29 And if you search for him with all your heart and soul you will find him.
• Proverbs 4:7 Getting wisdom is the most important thing you can do! And whatever else you do, get good judgment. 
• Proverbs 12:29 Worry weights a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up.
• Ecclesiastes 1:9 History merely repeats itself. It has all been done...

This is a revisit of Episode 16 a bit because end of term business doesn’t change a lot. Even with COVID.

Let’s talk grades, what do they mean, how to access your GPA status and 3 things to do now.

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• Final grades
• When do grades become ‘official’?
• Where do they find their grades?
• What do those final grades mean?
• Good Standing
• What does that mean?
• Honors
• Deans list
• Probation
• What does probation mean?
• In most cases, COVID-19 meant no drops/dismissals. They need to determine if that continues or not for fall 2020
• Dropped/Dismissed
• What does this mean?
• Future registration impact
• Housing impact
• Student loan repayment may begin before they are enrolled again.
• Readmission
• Future episode

So now what? Three things

1. However your student with a low GPA more than one failed needs to really assess what happened.
   • Was it...

This one is dedicated to all the parents with highschool seniors. It’s my effort to help get you ready for what’s to come. In all fairness, you seasoned parents may get something new or yell out in solidarity with me!

All the portals

1. Admission
• Apply
• Accept
• Change terms/cancel
2. Student
• Address
• Phone
• Emergency contact
• Financial obligations
• Register
• Holds
• Transcript
• Plan of study
• schedule/where are my classes
• Email link?
• LMS link?
3. Payment
• Student and/or parent
• See bill
• Make payment plans
• Pay bill
• Check fees- housing, meals, etc
• Check status of scholarships/aid
4. Proxy
• Students assign proxy
• View only, typically no actions to update available
• Can assign and revoke anytime
• Passwords, reset, who to call for help
• Why you’d use that vs the student login
5. LMS
• What is it- Learning Management System
• University tool
• Textbook publisher tool
• Grades
• Assignments
• chat/discussion
6. Financial aid
• FAFSA
• Scholarship status
• Grant status
• Eligibility requirements
• Selected...

In an effort to get to know why I’m the way I am, a few episodes will be dedicated to sharing some of my story. This week I’ve decided to share some of my Drew’s story.

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• Our third child,we got our little boy after two beautiful girls.
• Originally thought I wanted four kids
• Part time work, full time mom
• Newer home in country
• Diagnosis
• When
• How we knew something was wrong
• What it was
• The grim reaper
• Telling family
• Figuring it all out
• Doctor appointments
• No longer breast feeding
• Surgery
• Meds
• Therapies
• Quit job
• Life sets in
• Therapies at home
• Learning Drew’s behaviors
• Our girls adjust
• Warning from nurses about marriage
• Family nearby
• My lessons
• I don’t regret a moment of time we had with him.
• Lessons he taught us that I could have never taught.
• Compassion
• Empathy
• patience
• No one is promised tomorrow
• My kids and family are...